Achievement Unlocked — Went Full R*tard (2" PVC Hook-Back Patch)

• Micro size, max sarcasm — 2" bar stacks clean on crowded loop real estate.
• 3D molded PVC — crisp raised lettering & icon; wipes clean after range dust and coffee incidents.
• Hook backing (Velcro®-compatible) — slap it on any loop; move it as your kit evolves.
• Rounded “game bar” silhouette — reads instantly from a few feet away.
  

✅ Approved for:

• Range goblins & ops gremlins who measure life in AARs, not emails
• Pilots/Sensors/Intel who have said “full send” out loud and meant it.
• NCOs/SNCOs with a loop-field problem (the patch mat is… full again).
• TDY addicts with a travel patch mat in the suitcase.
• Morale criminals and Friday-shirt enjoyers who speak fluent sarcasm.
  

🚫 Not for:

• The person who writes the safety brief (and stars in it).
• “Per the reg” enthusiasts with ruler holsters.
• Email CC-maximizers / SharePoint curators who weaponize Outlook.
• Coin polishers who say “let’s circle back” and mean it.
• “No morale items on duty uniform” deputies—fun police with a badge.

• Ships within 3–5 business days.
  
  Mailed flat with tracking—unless you select economy shipping, which is more like "budget carrier pigeon." Economy = envelope + stamp = no tracking.
• Use it if you’re chill. Upgrade if you’re anxious.